Live the Questions

My Law of Attraction Group is studying relationships this month. At our last meeting, a list of questions was provided to us as a tool to help further examine our thoughts and feelings about the relationships in our lives.

As I began working my way through the list of questions I noticed that I was having some difficulty answering some of them. At first I didn't know why but then I realized that I was approaching the questions as if I were taking a test and wanted to get a good grade on it. I wrote answers that sounded good and logical but held no truth or real emotion for me. Why would I do this? What’s the benefit? Why did I care more about how it looked on the outside than how it felt for me on the inside?

As I was thinking about what the answer to these questions would be, a quote from one of my favorite books, "Letters to a Young Poet" by Ranier Maria Rilke, came into my mind. It's from Letter Four and it says:

"...try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."

Perfection. Live the questions. Live everything. I love it!

So, here is a list of a few other questions I am now living.

1. What is a relationship?
2. What does it mean to be in a relationship?
3. What defines a good relationship?
4. What is a successful relationship?
5. Are good relationships successful relationships?
6. Why aren't all of our relationships fulfilling?
7. Are there different kinds of relationships?
8. What do you gain from your relationships?
9. What is it that you bring to every relationship?
10. What does love look like when it's not about seeking, wanting or needing?

I plan to share my experiences and insights in living these questions with you in the coming days. I hope you will in turn share your experiences in living your questions with me. I know we have much to gain by doing so.

The Relationship of Your Dreams

A friend gave me an Abraham Hicks quote on relationships and it is so good that I wanted to share it with all of you. It's one I hadn't heard before.

Do you know the relationship that you are all looking for? Do you know what it really is?

You want the relationship between you and you. And when you meet a person who looks fondly at you, or who is appreciative of you, or someone you look fondly upon, or someone you appreciate, it just hooks you up to your Inner Being, which is what you want all along.

So the relationship you are all looking for is the relationship between you and you. And everything else is just helpful in that, really.

Don't you find that interesting? That what you really want is a reason to vibrationally connect with who you really are.

If any of you are without the relationship of your dreams right now, that's a wonderful thing. Because now you have an opportunity to work on the relationship that really matters first and foremost. And then, in that connection, the relationship of your dreams will come.

But you are going to discover the relationship of your dreams is really your own Inner Being. It's that infusion of clarity and confidence and wellness, that's what you are reaching for.

And it is nice to have a human friend who holds you as their object of attention and adores you right into your connection. But we want you to experience greater independence than that.

We want you to say to your lovers,

I love you, but I don't live for you because Source Energy flows through
me. You are a catalyst to my wellbeing, but you are not essential to my
wellbeing because I've got that figured out on my own. I have reached for thoughts that give me relief all the way into my full connection of
who I really am. And now we can just dance and play together.

Can you feel how you take them off the hook? In other words, do you know how many men would flock to you? (ALL OF THEM!)...if they knew that you would allow them to be as they are and you would not hold them responsible for your happiness.

That's what everyone wants. How much bondage is there in believing that your happiness depends on me, so I've got to figure out what you want and stand on my head in all those different ways and it's not even possible!

The greatest gift you can give anyone is to be happy and we will take that further. The greatest gift you can give to any partner past, present or future is to be so connected with who you truly are, that they are irrelevant to your connection. Then you are really going to have a good time together.

San Diego, 2/7/04

This quote has been incredibly helpful to me in dealing with a personal "mini-crisis" I've had going on for the last few weeks. By "mini-crisis" I mean a situation I thought was devastating that turned out not to be as bad as I thought. Surprisingly the "mini-crisis" was not in regards to another person but instead had to do with my relationship to money.

I think I'm starting to "get it" that every relationship in my life stems from my relationship to myself. I realize that some people might not see that statement as good news but I find it incredibly empowering and liberating!

I realized that fact a while back in dealing with my relationships with others. That's why my interpersonal relationships are so good. For some reason it never occurred to me to apply that same thought process to my finances but once I did that 's when my situation started to turn around.

I am the answer to any difficulty I am facing. What a liberating thought that is!