Wreck This Journal - Week 4

Well, I must confess I haven't done a lot of wrecking this week but what wrecking I did do involved a lot of spitting and smearing. I'm finding that my resistance, at least for now, has subsided and I'm enjoying the process. Who would have thought that I would be posting a picture of smeared pizza in one of my books but there it is. I don't particularly like the picture because it looks gross but that's exactly why I posted it.

I thought about posting a picture that would be more visually appealing and acceptable to my readers but then I thought, this was my "wreckiest" entry for the week so why not put it out there for all to see? I had a momentary fear of what people might think but then realized that this isn't about them it's about me and my own journey with the wrecking process.

As I mentioned in my post last week I intend to act on the creative nudges I get which I'm now doing. I got the creative nudge to post the pizza picture and I did. My nephews and I had fun documenting our dinner on the page (there are still crushed red peppers falling out of the journal).

I've gotten past my fear of wrecking the journal and what is coming up for me now is fear about what others will think about my creations. This whole process is so interesting and enlightening.

A Few Short Movies to Help Explain the Law of Attraction

I was going back through some of my old blog posts and found three short movies that I posted back in 2007. Now anyone who is a regular reader of this blog knows that Abraham-Hicks is my favorite teacher of all things Law of Attraction but these movies also do a great job explaining the Law of Attraction - what it is and how it works. I am linking them here.

The first movie is called The Focus Movie. It's just a few minutes long. It is one of the best videos I've seen that perfectly illustrates the importance of focusing on what you want in your life The Focus Movie .

The next movie is called The Unity of Spirit and Matter and is 29 minutes long. It deals with questions such as:

• How did the physical world come into existence

• How did the first something get created

• What is consciousness

• How did the creative process begin

• Incarnation and the Law of Attraction

• Spiritual awakening

The last movie is called The Law of Attraction Explained and is 17 minutes long. I think the title is pretty self explanatory.

Enjoy and let me know what you think.

Wreck This Journal - Week 3

To create is to destroy - Part 2

In my update last week I mentioned that I wanted to know what the statement "to create is to destroy" meant. As I entered Week 3 of this process, that statement was still very much on my mind. I was getting frustrated because I couldn't seem to get it. Many of the other participants in this process seemed to be having a great time wrecking their journals and I wanted to be one of them but the truth was I wasn't having a great time. This process of wrecking the journal was bugging me and I didn't know why.

Over the weekend one of my favorite quotes from "Letters to a Young Poet" by Ranier Maria Rilke came to mind. It's from Letter Four and it says:

"Try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer."

This was exactly what I needed to hear. I put the journal aside and didn't open it for several days. I had put my questions out there 1). What does "to create is to destroy" mean? and 2). Why is this process of wrecking the journal bugging me so much? Then I just let go of the entire process and decided that I was going to live my way into the answers as Rilke suggested. I would give up the frustration I was feeling and would just focus on living my life. The very next day something very innocent but very enlightening happened for me.

I got a call from the library that two books I had requested had arrived and were being held for me. I was anxiously awaiting these books and now they were here. I wanted to pick them up after work, go to my Mastermind group and then spend the rest of the evening reading. But as the day progressed I remembered that part of the road in front of the library was under construction and decided I would wait and pick the books up during my lunch hour the next day when there would be less traffic. I remembered that my gas tank was almost on empty and reminded myself that I should stop at the gas station right down the street from work to fill up before driving home. But I decided to wait until the next day to fill up because I had enough gas to make it home and I could fill up in the morning. As I was leaving my office I thought it would probably be a good idea to make a bathroom stop before driving home but I decided to wait because I didn't have to go that bad. After all, it was only a 15 minute drive and I could wait.

Well, guess what happened. As soon as I entered the highway all traffic came to a stop. There was a very bad accident; someone had driven off the overpass and the highway was shut down. I had a lot of time to think about my recent decisions while I was waiting for the highway to reopen.

I knew I had a choice. I could complain about the fact that I was stuck in traffic and get myself all worked up or I could make the best of the situation. I reminded myself that it was my choice to "wait" and I got exactly what I asked for.

I took the time in the car to appreciate the fact that I was safe and healthy. I sent thoughts of comfort and well-being to the person involved in the accident and to his family. I appreciated the air conditioning and having good music to listen to. I had my vision book with me so I got that out and spent time looking at a visual representation of what my life was in the process of becoming. Soon the highway opened back up and I was on my way home. I made a decision right then that if I felt a nudge to do something I would do it instead of waiting.

The next evening I was sitting at my computer reading some of the WTJ blog posts when I got the nudge to do the shower thing again. This time I decided to follow that nudge and see where it would lead me. I wasn't ready for my shower yet but I didn't let that stop me. I grabbed the journal, walked into the shower fully clothed, put the book in the shower caddy, turned the water on and totally soaked it. It was great. I loved it. Now I was having some fun! Of course once I got started I couldn't stop myself. I grabbed the soap and got the book all soapy. Then I opened some of the pages to make sure they were getting wet too. I wondered why I had made such a big deal about getting it wet. I put it on the bathroom counter to dry out and forgot about it.

I sat down this afternoon to write this blog post and as I was looking over my notes for the week, a couple of things stuck out at me. Something sounded very familiar.

I wanted to pick up the books from the library but I didn't do it; I decided to wait

I was going to fill up my gas tank but I didn't do it: I decided to wait

I was going to make a bathroom stop before driving home but I didn't do it; I decided to wait.

Notice a pattern here? There's my "I'll wait" excuse from Week 1 and my "I wanted to yet I didn't" excuse from Week 2.

These are excuses I use frequently but didn't realize I was doing it until this wrecking the journal process started pointing them out to me. Maybe that's why the wrecking process was bugging me so much. I'm seeing a direct correlation between the limitations I feel about wrecking the journal and the blocks I've put up in my own life that keep me from creating the life I desire.

Now I know my little traffic story may not seem like much but it illustrates a pattern that I've had throughout my life. For instance a few years ago I wanted the experience of living in Manhattan for a year. I didn't know anyone who lived there and I didn't make a lot of money at the time. I couldn't afford it on my own but I was completely in love with the city and wanted the experience of living there. Long story short, as usually happens in my life, I ended up meeting someone that loved my enthusiasm for the city and offered me a place to stay on the Upper West Side, rent free. I had just been given what I asked for but then I started thinking about all the potential problems - what was I going to do with my house and my car, etc. and I started putting up blocks to the experience. I wasn't doing this intentionally but I was doing it. I decided it wasn't the right time for me to move and I would wait a few months to take care of some things related to my house and car and then I would go. But I never did. I decided to wait.

So, what am I waiting for? I guess that's another question I get to live on my way to the answer. In the meantime maybe I can start changing my pattern from "I'll wait" and "I wanted to yet I didn't" to:

"I wanted to and I did"!
Yes, I like the sound of that much better!

Wreck This Journal - Week 2

To create is to destroy

This is what it says on the very first page of the journal. I’ve been thinking a lot about this statement over the past week. I’m not sure I understand what it means…yet.

During the first couple of days I really enjoyed my wrecking adventure. I got great pleasure in hurling the book across the room at random moments throughout my day. I spit coffee on it , cut through several pages of it, glued pages together but, as the week went on I noticed that my feelings about wrecking this funny journal had started to change.

Yes, I had roughed it up a bit and that part was fun but I had also done a few pages that I really enjoyed – coloring an entire page (I love coloring!), filling a page with circles, pretending to doodle on the back on an envelope. I had fun doing these pages and I liked what I created; I didn’t want to wreck these pages.

I first noticed this resistance to wrecking when I took the book in the shower with me. I admit this was definitely a new experience. I had every intention for the book to get wet and hopefully a little soapy. I thought just bringing it in the shower would at least get it wet but there it was, perfectly dry, sitting in my shower caddy.

I was purposely going to spray water on it when I realized if I did, the pretty pages I just created would be ruined and with that thought I stopped myself from getting the entire book wet and just sprayed the very edge of the book. I know the instructions didn’t say to get it wet but I WANTED TO…YET I DIDN’T.

I’m surprised by the resistance I’m feeling to wrecking the journal. So what am I going to do? I’ve got a journal that says loud and clear – WRECK ME but now I don’t want to. Well, I’m going to keep at it. I’m going to wreck it one way or another; it may just take a little longer than I originally thought.

(I tried three times to upload photo's for this post and had trouble each time, guess it's not meant to be right now)

Wreck This Journal - Week 1

I just got the book today. I’m ready to go! I’ve already decided that this is going to be a lot of fun.

Funny, before yesterday I had not even heard of this book but I had been intending to widen my circle of friends and interact with more creative people. Well, ask and it is given. I was visiting An Eager Soul's Journal and saw that she and her daughter were participating in this thing called The Next Chapter: Wreck This Journal. The name “Wreck This Journal” was enough to peak my curiosity so of course I had to go check it out and I’m glad I did.

First of all, the book looks really fun. The exercises are crazy, creative and carefree. Here is just a sampling of some of the things I have to look forward to as I wreck the journal.

* Find a way to wear the journal.

* Glue a photo of yourself that you don’t like to the journal page and then deface it - I’m looking forward to this one because pretty much any photo of me taken in the 80s could be used. (Not one of my better looking decades for sure)

* Bring this book into the shower with you.

* Chew on the page.

* There is also a page to collect the stickers you get off of bought fruit – this one is so silly I think I’ll do it first.

This book is also providing me a wonderful opportunity to interact with other deliberate creators. I’m widening my circle of friends, being creative and having fun all at the same time.

Now, off to collect my fruit stickers.

Ok, the first part of this post was written right after I got back to my office after buying the book. Here’s what happened as the afternoon progressed.

I decided to wait until I got home to start “wrecking” the book but then it occurred to me that this is my usual pattern. I’ll wait until… boy there’s one of my creativity killers. I’ll do it later - when I get home, when I have more money, etc.

I put the book beside me at my desk and every time I looked at it the book seemed to be taunting me to engage with it. I imagined it saying, come on, wreck me, I dare ya. So I did.

The first thing I did was draw a smiley face on the front of the journal to remind me that this is going to be a fun process then I opened the book to a random page that instructed me to poke holes in it with a pencil. I had a funny reaction to this page.

The page had some small circles drawn on it and I didn’t like it. At first look I took that to mean that the book was telling me where to poke the holes and what instrument to use. I don’t like being told what to do or how to do it because that feels limiting to me but I poked the holes anyway with a pencil. Then I purposely started poking holes all across the page with all kinds of different items – a toothpick, a letter opener, different colored pens, etc. After I had my fill of poking holes I took a fresh look at the page. I laughed out loud when I realized that there was nothing in the instructions that said I had to poke the circles that were drawn or that I could only use a pencil. The only way I was limited in my creative expression was in my thinking.

Now, onward to my fruit stickers!

Day 1: Poked holes, realized that “I’ll wait until…” is a creativity killer for me and that I can only be limited in my thinking. Guess I poked some holes not only on the page but also in my limited thinking.

Deliberate Living

May was a very good month for me and I intended it to be that way. I made a decision to be very clear and deliberate about what I was choosing to create in my life. Since we create our reality according to our thoughts I wanted to be deliberate about what I was thinking and therefore creating. This meant thinking thoughts on purpose, finding ways to move up the emotional scale by feeling relief and allowing my Well-Being to flow.

There was a lot of contrast that came up that helped to get me clear about my creations. Contrast (variety) is such a good thing. The contrast helped me clean up my vibration where I still had some fuzzy thinking going on. It caused me to be more focused and deliberate about the person I want to be, how I want to live my life, how I want my daily life to flow, what I want to demonstrate, etc. I became more deliberate about my creations because it felt good to do it. I could feel the relief in getting clear instead of feeling the frustration about why the unwanted situation manifested. I kept reaching for the feeling of relief.

Most of you know that I've been practicing a new vibration around money and abundance. I am now seeing evidence of that change in vibration. Things in my physical reality are starting to take shape from the images I've been holding in my mind. Of course that has always been happening but this time I'm seeing the things I've been intending and looking forward to now start to come in.

I thought about what I would be doing if were living my ideal life. Some of the things I thought about were having drum circles and musical gatherings, poetry readings, movie nights and pot luck suppers at my home. Friends and family would be dropping by to visit because being in my home and being with me is such a comforting, good feeling and uplifting place to be. And of course my life would be lived from a place of abundance not lack. I began living my ideal life in my mind and then I started to find ways to live it in my daily life.

I began reading books on poetry and started a notebook of favorite poems to share when I start my poetry gatherings. I read books about how to live more creatively and started implementing suggestions that resonated with me. I started playing the musical instruments I already had at my house and started learning to play the guitar. I'm creating my home to reflect my new beliefs and desires and I'm making sure my house is ready for impromptu visits from friends and family. I'm keeping myself tuned in, taped in and turned on as Abraham says so that I can be a source of comfort and connection for my friends, family and readers as they seek my counsel on various situations in their lives. I want to teach self-empowerment and connection to Source and I intend my life to be a living demonstration of that intention.

It feels so good to create on purpose. I love the changes that are happening in my life and what I love the most is how fun, self-empowering and easy this process can be.