Thursday, June 11, 2009

Wreck This Journal - Week 2

To create is to destroy

This is what it says on the very first page of the journal. I’ve been thinking a lot about this statement over the past week. I’m not sure I understand what it means…yet.

During the first couple of days I really enjoyed my wrecking adventure. I got great pleasure in hurling the book across the room at random moments throughout my day. I spit coffee on it , cut through several pages of it, glued pages together but, as the week went on I noticed that my feelings about wrecking this funny journal had started to change.

Yes, I had roughed it up a bit and that part was fun but I had also done a few pages that I really enjoyed – coloring an entire page (I love coloring!), filling a page with circles, pretending to doodle on the back on an envelope. I had fun doing these pages and I liked what I created; I didn’t want to wreck these pages.

I first noticed this resistance to wrecking when I took the book in the shower with me. I admit this was definitely a new experience. I had every intention for the book to get wet and hopefully a little soapy. I thought just bringing it in the shower would at least get it wet but there it was, perfectly dry, sitting in my shower caddy.

I was purposely going to spray water on it when I realized if I did, the pretty pages I just created would be ruined and with that thought I stopped myself from getting the entire book wet and just sprayed the very edge of the book. I know the instructions didn’t say to get it wet but I WANTED TO…YET I DIDN’T.

I’m surprised by the resistance I’m feeling to wrecking the journal. So what am I going to do? I’ve got a journal that says loud and clear – WRECK ME but now I don’t want to. Well, I’m going to keep at it. I’m going to wreck it one way or another; it may just take a little longer than I originally thought.

(I tried three times to upload photo's for this post and had trouble each time, guess it's not meant to be right now)

11 comments:

Jamie Ridler said...

It's amazing how this crazy little book that invites us to chew and rip and shower with it throws such a light on us.

I really appreciated reading your exploration and all you shared. I really heard you on: "I WANTED TO…YET I DIDN’T." We've got several weeks to go. You just might yet...

Amy said...

I can relate to this---I am a total planner and want to wait until the very last week to shower with it and not destroy it yet. Even something so spontaneous, I can't help but plan. Sounds like this book will make both of us think :)

Ananda said...

WOW. Your shower experience made me think about my burning the page resistence last week. I am proud of you for just putting the journal in the shower. i am not ready to do that one yet. One step and one wreck at a time....

mermaid musings said...

don't worry little by little with the process you will get comfortable.
have fun!

Karen said...

Isn't this much harder than it seems? I totally get what you're saying! I know we'll get through it, though!

Snap said...

It sure seems hard, doesn't it? I have a feeling by the end of July we'll all be dancing on tables! :D

Vee said...

You've taken steps and that's all that matters! We're all here together as we break through those barriers of resistance. You can do it!

Cynthia said...

awww honey ... I am having remorse as well --- I broke my book by accident! I'll be nicer to my book and your give it a thrill! K?

Genie Sea said...

You'll be surprised what you can and will do over the next few weeks. I think it's a great beginning :)

Sherri said...

What an interesting perspective. Your first bit of wreckage seems to have become art and therefore you don't want to destroy it. That makes perfect sense. So far my destruction has been fairly "pretty" also. I wonder if I will find the heart to truly destroy it...

Melba said...

Even though it is something as simple as a journal, I always believe in following my heart. I haven't really wrecked my journal, but I am having fun and feel good. I think wreck is not the same to everyone...that as long as you are being open to new experiences you will expand through the process.